Welcome to e-SLAA.org, an online S.L.A.A. group!

Welcome to e-SLAA.org, an Online S.L.A.A. Group

Welcome! We are glad you are here. When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, we want the hand of S.L.A.A. to always be there, and for that, each of us is responsible.

About e-SLAA.org

Membership in e-slaa.org is opened to anyone who thinks they may be experiencing an inability to terminate or set boundaries in a love relationship, an undesirable compulsion to have sex or masturbate, romantic obsession, ongoing avoidance of intimacy, problems with codependency or love addiction, promiscuity, obsessive fantasy, or one of the many other signs of sex and love addiction. The only requirement for membership in Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction.

e-SLAA.org is one of many online recovery groups. To support their members' recovery from sex addiction, love addiction, anorexia, and other closely related issues, these groups meet regularly either at a specific physical location, online at a particular e-location, or via the phone using a particular numeric sequence. Any two or three sex and love addicts gathered together to mutually support one another in recovery may call themselves an S.L.A.A. group, provided that as a group they have no other affiliation.

For more information, see More About e-SLAA.org below. Also ready about our worldwide outreach effort.

Our e-SLAA.org Meeting Schedule

Great Things About e-Recovery

These are just some of the things our members enjoy about e-slaa.org, in addition to the strong recovery and uplifting meetings, of course.

Access to weekly meetings for those who have no meetings in their region of the world
Additional anonymity over face-to-face or phone meetings for doctors, teachers, moviemakers, and government employees
Provide a helpful introduction for new members who don't know what to expect and want to get their feet wet before appearing at a face-to-face meeting
Meet people from other countries who are engaged in recovery for sex and love addiction.
No gas or other transportation or communications expenses to get to meetings if they are a great distance away
No rent for the meeting room so ALL of your Seventh Tradition donations can be sent directly to your local intergroup (if you have one) and the Fellowship-Wide Services Office
As the time slots are filled, there will be meetings at various times throughout the day that are convenient for the work and family schedules of people from different time zones.
Sharing and listening can be silent, so a member can get current with roommates or family in another room.
Create a new mental connection between recovery and the Internet for those who have had difficulty with internet sobriety.

e-SLAA.org Group Guidelines

The guidelines for participlation in this group are expressions of the group's commitment to the Twelve Traditions.

The membership requirements of this e-group go beyond the usual requirements of membership solely because, whether in face-to-face meetings, on phone meetings, or engaging in online meetings, the First Tradition sometimes must take precidence over the Fifth Tradition when a member's actions threaten the right of the members of the group to meet in a safe place. So that this group will always be able to support our recovery and the recovery of those to come, we must place our common welfare first.

The guidelines that our group members follow are below. Please read them carefully before joining. Failure to follow these guidelines may result in the termination of your access to this e-group.

Respect the stated purpose of e-S.L.A.A., which is to provide a safe, interactive, Internet-based recovery resource.
Respect the Twelve Traditions.
Practice anonymity. Your full name or other identifying information shall not be passed along to the community. **
Practice confidentiality. No confidential information expressed should be expressed outside this community. * **
Encourage the recovery of others by sharing your experience, strength, and hope in a positive way.
Respect the stated boundaries of other members.
Refrain from searching for partners for sexual or romantic purposes within this community.
Refrain from interrupting other people during their sharing during a chat room meeting.
Refrain from criticizing or passing judgments on any people.
Refrain from using language and images that are likely to be perceived as offensive, explicit, flirtatious or otherwise triggering to recovering addicts.
Refrain from mentioning people by name.
Refrain from mentioning locations or organizations that are likely to pose a threat to the recovery of other members.

* Confidential information includes information shared by individuals during an e-SLAA.org meeting, within an e-SLAA.org forum, or in an e-SLAA.org message. Expressing includes discussing, repeating verbally, writing about, copying, or otherwise representing the confidential information.

** Be aware that information shared in the Gratitude Blog is deliberately syndicated in the spirit of S.L.A.A.'s Fifth Tradition, meaning that it will temporarily appear outside the secure area in the interest of attracting those who might benefit from S.L.A.A. resources into the S.L.A.A. community.

Enter Through the Doorway Below

If you are willing to abide by the above guidelines for e-community behavior, you may enter by clicking on the doorway and set up your membership. IMPORTANT: Please do NOT enter your real FULL NAME when you sign up.

There are no dues or fees, and because e-slaa.org is currently an expense-free group of S.L.A.A., we recommend you make a Seventh Tradition donation to your local intergroup and to S.L.A.A.'s Fellowship-wide Services.

Our Recovery Resources

We currently offer our members several services to support their recovery.

S.L.A.A. topic discussion meetings with a getting current session during the second half (Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time, 9 pm Eastern Time)
Internationalization and multilingual support
A forum for sharing recovery experience
An outreach forum for discussions related to twelfth-step work, the Fifth Tradition, and public information
A step study forum for sharing wisdom gained about working the Twelve Steps
Opened chat for those who want to engage in fellowship between meetings
An events bulletin board for retreats, conferences, conventions, round ups, and S.L.A.A. social gatherings
Blogs for expressing gratitude and items of interest

We expect to provide these additional services soon.

Meetings for non-U.S. time zones (If you are interested in chairing a meeting for your time zone, please join the discussion on this topic.)
Speaker and step study meetings
Recovery celebrations for step work completed or years of bottom line abstinence experienced
Integration with cell phones, for recovery on the go
Integration with other e-community activity
Support for S.L.A.A. Conference activities

For information about many of S.L.A.A.'s worldwide initiatives, you can visit the S.L.A.A. Fellowship-wide Services site.

More About e-SLAA.org

e-SLAA.org is like any other S.L.A.A. group. Its meeting location is a virtual address. This location is not only where meetings are held for mutual support, but also where healthy conversations can ensue and healthy, recovery-oriented friendships can develop. e-SLAA.org is modeled after a large face-to-face group that provides many services to the recovery community. (We are not a recovery club; we are an S.L.A.A. group!)

e-Meetings are much like face-to-face meetings. The format is about the same, and the originators of e-SLAA.org added in audio for the preamble, the Twelve Steps, and the announcements, so if you have speakers on your commuter, you hear a voice, which helps make e-SLAA.org feel warmer than most e-meetings.

Safety and e-SLAA.org

e-SLAA.org is a safe place to share and hear the sharing of others. There are several measures of safety built in.

Only group members can participlate or see the things that people share in an e-SLAA.org meeting, so everyone has qualified as a sex and love addict or someone who thinks they have a problem with sex or love before they enter the Meeting Room.
Everything is erased out of the chat room at the end of the meeting.
e-SLAA.org provides more physical safety than face-to-face meetings; there is no way for someone to get in your face, and there is no way to be stalked leaving the meeting.
Because the screen name you pick does not need to be at all related to the name you go by, there is more anonymity, so actors, actresses, other public figures, and teachers can get the recovery they need with much less risk that their membership in S.L.A.A. will be discovered by a member of the press.
Meetings are moderated, just like face-to-face meetings, but there are more options available to chairpeople for resolving issues and all of those options are safer and simpler than their face-to-face equivalent.
Chronic aggitators, people who will not stop using triggering language, those cruising for cybersex, and members of the press can instantly be booted from a meeting or loose their membership.
Those serious about S.L.A.A. recovery seek the safety of the meeting place and refrain from acting out, implying the possibility of acting out, or triggering others and are able to continue to enjoy their e-SLAA.org membership.

The e-Group7 Gratitude Blog

Looking for Something

I recently completed rehab for sex and love addiction and I'm having a tough time reconstructing my life here in my home town. I lost a lot of friends due to my addiction and that's been quite the struggle. Its hard when you try and make amends to those you have hurt and they want nothing to do with you anymore. You want to be able to prove to them you have changed, but you can't. You've lied too many times and this time just won't cut it.

I've been spending my time with friends from

Posted on 27 December 2011 | 4:32 pm MST

Needing a place to go to.

I have taken a hiatus if you will say from this site for a while. I have stopped in every once in a while just to get a dose of im not alone in the fight. Really having a bad afternoon. My emotions are on high school is done and i should be doing something with my self and not sitting idle. I was fine this am but as the eve has rose im slipping farther and farther away from my duties as wife and glue. Not really anyone i can turn to i have tried the spark people thing today but not

Posted on 15 December 2011 | 3:59 pm MST

Need Help

Hello everyone,

A little nervous to write anything but I do need the help.

I have been a grateful member of Al-anon for nearly 2 years now, and just discovered that I am an addict myself. I have a love and relationship addiction and its destroying my life.

I live in Calgary, Alberta and have no idea what to do... we have no SLAA meetings here, I hope to start one.

I have been in recovery for 3 days now, this has been one of the most difficult things for me to

Posted on 7 December 2011 | 1:36 pm MST

Tonight's e-meeting

Grateful that I wound up chairing tonight's e-meeting. :)

Posted on 5 December 2011 | 8:20 pm MST

Introduction

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to introduce myself because I just joined SLAA... It is my first time here so I am a bit

apprehensive about talking about sexual matters. I guess it's a family trait because sex was always so "dirty", shameful and never discussed in my family. I had to find out on my own what it was all about.

I have a lot of shameful regrets relating to sexual matters and I do feel quite alone in the way I feel. I

I grew up in a Korean household

Posted on 27 November 2011 | 10:10 am MST

Thanksgiving Is Over

Making the decision not to spend Thanksgiving with any of the family and go to a Bed and Breakfast was the best choice we could make!

Posted on 25 November 2011 | 11:27 am MST

i wont let my soul die

such usual days...collage,family,friends,collage again.i feel stress everywhere.i do my best to deal with it in a healthy way without resorting to compulsive actions,without drowning into fantasy or masturbation.but when it gets to "memory rush" it become much more diffecult to stay sober.

i have lost many of those i really felt safe with,family members who died,friends who just walk away carelessly.but my memory about my dad,his life and his death is very overwhelming,very

Posted on 16 November 2011 | 9:00 pm MST

Rock bottom...and then some.

Yesterday was my one month sober in the program. I celebrated with my best friend who has always been there for me. He had a friend over from a previous hometown, and we got along well. My best friend went to sleep after the movie, and I stayed up with the friend of a friend. Let's just say I made a very poor decision and am now living with that consequence.

I considered myself fortunate that my rock bottom wasn't as steep as many others I've heard in the program. I counted

Posted on 14 November 2011 | 6:15 pm MST

Conflicting desires....

I ended slipping yesterday.

I see conflicting beliefs and behaviors in me when it comes to sex and love. The recreational sex personality in me wants to live the lifestyle of working on weekdays and partying on the weekend, which as a SLA to me means lots of sex and the search for love . And for a long time I would keep slipping on Sunday, even if I managed to white-knuckle through the week, on Sunday evenings I would be very depressed and feel like my life was

Posted on 5 November 2011 | 8:00 am MDT

November 4th, 2011 - Sexgraines: Total Information Overload!

While I briefly browse YouTube videos of ArmA 2: Operation Arrowhead, research upon the L gion trang re (French Foreign Legion, abbr. FFL) for an upcoming campaign thread, and trying to better my life, I had remembered that since this morning I woke up: I had sexgraines all day.

I acquired a new job on a specific

Posted on 4 November 2011 | 6:28 pm MDT

Just for today, I don't want to jump out of my body in shame and humiliation . . .

When I first found AA, I was amazed at how well it explained my insanity. Now, it's SLAA. The more I hear and read and remember, the more it explains the things I did, the people I was sure I "loved." The challenge is not to get too overwhelmed with the self-realization. With grace, I keep giving myself to a Higher Power. And a Higher Power keeps giving my self to my Self. "This time around" there is so much more depth and meaning to the first three steps, so much more support in doing the

Posted on 25 October 2011 | 6:30 am MDT

getting into recovery and still feeling insane

I was and am incredibly depressed today. I know this is part of the addiction but it feels real. My heart hurts. I have been fantasizing about relationships the same way since I was two years old and was in love with Jon Davidson on the television. The patterns have been the same throughout the years. I hope I can maintain my center with step 2 and keep working through the current painful cycle. The lonliness is really what is so painful...it's like I can't even take opportunities to change

Posted on 23 October 2011 | 11:03 pm MDT

I am grateful for...

I am grateful for my best friends who showed me to the path of sobriety time and time again. I am grateful for their persistence and confidence in me when I didn't have it for myself.

I am grateful for the members of my SLAA and CR groups. Their openness and acceptance has only made this process easier.

I am grateful for the forgiveness I have experienced since I've been involved in the program.

I am grateful for second chances and the ability

Posted on 18 October 2011 | 1:14 am MDT

One day at a time to sobriety

Beginning any program, no matter the context, is difficult. I feel like there is this whole playing field in front of me, and I get lost in a lot of the minute details that shouldn't distract me. I see other people daily who are in the program and I am filled with such gratitude and wonder knowing that it's possible to achieve not only sexual sobriety but emotional sobriety.

I wish I could say that I only experience those positive feelings, but I'd be lying to myself and

Posted on 18 October 2011 | 12:30 am MDT

Letting go and letting God take over...

I lived with the illusion of control for many years. Last year I resigned from my job, retired and fell into a "black hole" of Internet porn. It was like I picked up a crack pipe with an endless stash. At the same time, I met a "soul-mate" discrepancy. Compulsion had me in its grip. On both sides of the issue, the same issue really. Powerlessness. Compulsion. Dark depression. Insanity. By the grace of God, about a month ago, I found a Higher Power. I have continued to use but less frequently.

Posted on 17 October 2011 | 7:48 am MDT

Travelling

Today I am grateful that I have program, and technology to outreach. After 14 years in recovery from sex and love addiction, avoidance and anorexic behaviors I have a partner who also works 12 steps. I am amazed that we can love and support each other without the craziness of my previous addictive relationships, even tho my default mode is still to try and push her away when I am fearful, hurting, angry or sad.

I am away from my home group and my partner traveling for work for 2

Posted on 17 October 2011 | 7:22 am MDT

What I am grateful for today

I am grateful for a husband that loves and supports me fully.

I am grateful for the course I am taking on Addiction & Recovery that finally opened my eyes to the underlying issue that was making my life so challenging and sucking all the happiness out of it.

I am grateful for others who have shared their stories to help with my recovery especially the author Benoit Denizet-Lewis who shared his personal experience in his book "America Anonymous" and I

Posted on 11 October 2011 | 8:06 am MDT

Sponsor Needed.

I admit I have slept with three different guys in one day... wow ... I have an addiction and need a sponsor ! Help ! And the withdrawls.. I'm not ready for that ! That could be why I keep finding myself in these self destructive patterns of seeking after that fix !

Posted on 27 September 2011 | 10:52 pm MDT

Biggest High & Worst Withdrawl

So... after a whirlwind romance of only three dates and no sex, only making out, it is over. He was going through a rewiring of his brain due to porn addiction. This he told me on the first date; which I respect that he was honest. He seemed so into me and I fell for it. I need so bad to be touched and held that I seem to go after the sex inorder to have that touch. I wonder if I could find someone that would just

Posted on 27 September 2011 | 10:06 pm MDT

Sept 24, 2011 - Huscurian Comes and Goes

Huscurian Comes and Goes

by Huscurian

Interestingly enough, I had a great week. I had no struggles with pornography. It was pure mindless bliss not thinking about the sexual images, the fetishes I have had in the past, or felt so biologically weird that it's inexplicably guilty. Until now... I fell into porn not realizing the errors I've made this morning having succumbed. What drove me away after my "ritual"

Posted on 24 September 2011 | 7:39 am MDT

Trying to get off "Fantasy Island"

This is my first blog post and I am a Romance, Fantasy, Love and Sex Addict.

My fantasy addiction is getting to be an issue. I use fantasy daily and giving it up scares me to death!

I hope by posting my thoughts and getting feed back, will help me to arrest this.

Posted on 20 September 2011 | 11:30 am MDT

LoveDope

I am new here. I just want to say how grateful I feel for this support group. I feel like I have been battling the same things over and over again for years.

Posted on 14 September 2011 | 10:47 am MDT

Perseverance

My life had been a battle for many years. A simple prayer started this journey of recovery. I just wanted out, and I was blessed with escape. It wasn't the same type of escape I had always attempted to lean on a man as if he were a god to escape through excessive this or that. To chase money, security, orgasms, and affirmations from people I didn't even like was the only solution I had once known.

I stuck to my program of recovery, with all its working parts, and I never gave up

Posted on 5 September 2011 | 10:37 am MDT

Ten Years Today

It has been ten years today since the last time I compulsively pursued a fantastic relationship with a woman. For that, I am grateful to the recovery people in my life and my growing relationship with God.

Why would I be grateful that I'm not looking for a fantastic relationship? Isn't that what I'm supposed to want as a single man? I've learned no. That is not what I want, and that is not what is good for me.

I deliberately used the word fantastic instead of the word great

Posted on 30 August 2011 | 1:18 pm MDT

Glad to be here

I"m glad I finally joined this forum. I got sober in Tampa a while back. Thanks especially to the Tampa Saturday afternoon meeting. My teddy bear and I got a lot of solid recovery there.

I now belong to a great group in central PA. after several years with "my oars in the boat," my recovery has been jump-started in the past 4 years, and it feels as it did in Tampa so long ago.

I am grateful to be who I am, where I am.

Larry L.

Posted on 23 August 2011 | 10:54 am MDT

Boredom

My main problem is that when i am alone and bored i become this sexual monster. Up until now i have been busy so i haven't had to face the temptation as much.

Over the summer when i was starting to feel these temptations again i would hang out with friends or it would be in time for another family vacation where i could put my energy elsewhere.

But now my friends are all going off to college and my parents are starting back at work. And the temptation is coming

Posted on 16 August 2011 | 8:50 am MDT

Grateful to be an SLAA member today.

I am grateful to be an SLAA member because the program is working. SLAA is saving me from myself. It is preventing me from using people as if they were a sex drug. SLAA is bringing me out of denial. I am grateful.

Posted on 1 August 2011 | 4:30 pm MDT

Jul 23 2011 - A New Hobby

A New Hobby

by Huscurian

Just today, I am anticipating a box set of models to try out a new hobby: miniature painting and modeling. First off, I am no professional painter and have modeled a bit in the past. The reason for trying out a new hobby was so that I may work on it more than I do on my computer. Maybe my new hobby will be therapeutic and help assist

Posted on 23 July 2011 | 1:21 pm MDT

Roadmap to Recovery

I have reached an important milestone in my sobriety recently and I thought I'd review some of my past journaling in regards to where I was more than a year ago when I entered the program. Reading my past entries I realised that through the program I have come a long way and my life has changed for the better.

In my early days at the beginning of last year I went to meetings and was open to service but I struggled a lot without a sponsor. Back then I thought that the steps were just a

Posted on 23 July 2011 | 1:35 am MDT

WHAT TO DO..

FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION...

my bottom line: porn, mb to porn.

top line: Step work, Online Meetings, Games, Sports, Music, Calling Recovery Friends, Reading books.

Im an agnostic so i do not wish to try the GOD and FAITH method..

if faith in god worked, why does a pope require an 8 inch bulletproof glass ?

Posted on 22 July 2011 | 1:30 am MDT

Selected Forum Discussion from e-Group7

Physical symptoms of my SLA - Graphic Description

hi I'm Parker and I am a sex and love addict. If I don't work a program in SLAA, I bleed and lose tissue in one form or another. If I work a program in SLAA, I experience no bleeding or tissue loss. At one time I was on antibiotics for staph infection. Then the staph infection went away and bleeding and tissue loss started in another way. So I went to a different doctor to get checked out. I told him about my symptoms and he said if it continued it could be cancer. But after a test he said

Posted on 29 December 2011 | 1:06 pm MST

Starting from scratch

I've been gone for a year and have been doing semi well. I was in a serious relationship but fell thru. I was devasted and fell off the wagon. I gave it another try and back to square one. I want to get back to being focused and I think this is a good start. I plan on going back to on line meetings and restarting the 12 steps, I know I have support here so thank you in advance. -jessy

Posted on 31 October 2011 | 10:08 am MDT

Opening Up to More e-Recovery

This site's administrators and leading participants have unanimously agreed to open up and provide more recovery information on the site. This means that there will be a section containing a wide variety of resources that may benefit those who are experiencing any of the various flavors of sex and love addiction. Each item in the section will be fairly reviewed prior to posting it, ensuring that it is consistent with the principles of recovery, and each item will be clearly marked as to what

Posted on 30 August 2011 | 9:49 am MDT

New to SLAA

I have just found this recovery group, and just started reading about SLAA. After years of emotional turmoil, and destruction of friendships and relationships, SLAA is the only thing I've heard about that rings true to what I've experienced. I want to go to a local SLAA meeting but I'm intimidated to. I don't feel like there's anyone I can talk to, of my friends and family about my love addiction. I know I need to meet other people who can relate to my experience in order to gain the confidence

Posted on 20 August 2011 | 10:34 pm MDT

Orlando F2F meetings

I hope I am posting in the right place. I will be moving to the Orlando area next week. Does anyone know if there are meetings there?

Posted on 10 August 2011 | 7:20 am MDT

Sexual Values

I am Sam a SLA.

I am trying to come to terms with my addiction. My primary mode of

acting out is MB and IP and cyber sex(cam/chat) but i have always had an

interest in bdsm etc.

I grew up in a christian home and what complicates things is I am gay. I

am very comfortable with my sexual orientations and know that being gay

is both good and God affirmed but i keep wondering about sexual

paractises.

Growing up in a conservative christian home, sex was

Posted on 15 July 2011 | 2:16 pm MDT

Still Struggling after over Two years

I am still struggling with one bottom line, periodic masturbation. I have been in Slaa for 2 1/2 years. The meetings and my sponsor have helped change the way I live my life. I have avoided the bottom lines of using pornography and going to acting out places almost perfectly. For this period of time I have not fallen into acting out with anyone, although there have been periods when I was highly tempted and have ended up breaking the one bottom line I cannot seem to keep --- masturbation. As

Posted on 5 July 2011 | 9:01 am MDT

Need a reason.

I nearly wanted to act out with a maid after sending my son to school,why did I want to act out as I have sex with my with wife last night?

Posted on 30 June 2011 | 12:28 am MDT

New to this site

This is my first time here, I am in a relationship that has gotten very bad. I need to get out but, up until now, haven't brought myself to do it. It's difficult for me to understand how I ever got here in the first place. I'm seeing a counselor and would really like to connect with some people in similar situations, not to moan about how awful it is, although it's been bad, an incredible drain on my spirit, physical and emotional health but for mutual support and wisdom. Thanks,

Posted on 17 June 2011 | 12:07 pm MDT

I'm joining the group.

I'm now 1 week of sober and trying for more days.

Posted on 19 May 2011 | 9:07 pm MDT

Non-Endorsement Statement

Although a particular hosting service provides the community features of e-slaa.org, the e-SLAA.org Group does not endorse any service provider any more than a face-to-face group endorses the church, business, or association from which it may rent space.